The Impatient Gardener

This year I have decided to create and plant a garden. I love the late spring and early summer here in California, everything bursts into brilliant color and plants grow as if on steroids.

My mother was an avid gardener. If there was a patch of ground, no matter how small, she managed to grow flowers and/or vegetables on it. So it is in my genes.


As with art, gardening is wonderful creative therapy for me. I find most artists are also gardeners. I think because the concepts are similar. One must think about composition and color, shade garden, full sun and where to place a "victory garden" etc. Gardens are a reflection of our lifestyles, our personalities, our emotions.


I have planted red, white and blue petunias in the sunny corners of our yard in preparation for the Fourth of July. In the shady spaces under our trees there will be shades of burgundy and gold of coleus and impatiens. I have moved azaleas to better places and agapanthus where they may grow undisturbed. I have even created a "Zen Serenity Garden", a gazing globe surrounded by colored glass and white stones in a side corner of our yard. It will be where I will escape to read, write, paint and meditate.

And this year, I have planted vegetables in raised beds. I am growing several varieties of heirloom tomatoes and Asian eggplants and to satisfy the tastes of my husband and youngest son, four varieties of "hot" peppers, jalapeno, habanero, ancho and cayenne.

But, I am an impatient gardener. I am one of those who plants seeds and then very delicately digs around a week later to see if the seeds have begun to sprout. Once the seedlings peek their heads above the ground, I check everyday measuring to see how tall they have grown. I wait impatiently for the young green tomatoes to start their first blush of color. I check each blossom on the plants to find the tiny vegetable fetus forming to become the lush pepper or eggplant or tomato.

Yes, I am impatient as with life...waiting for something to happen, to grow, to show life, to reward my labors. But as with all things of God and Nature, everything happens in its own time and we cannot rush the outcome, we can only anticipate the bounty.

A New Year with resolve

After spending the holidays and the last of 2008 with my son and his family in the snowy weather of Utah , I am home now dealing with the strong and unseasonably warm Southern California winds. While I enjoyed the soft white powdery snow (No wonder skiers flock to Utah) and a wonderful white Christmas with family, it was good to be back in the warm environs of California. Coming home is always comforting (nothing like sleeping in your own bed) no matter how pleasurable your journey has been. But as always, there are the ever present tasks that await one.

And of course, facing the new year and the myriad resolutions that accompanied this homecoming.

I immediately started in with my mental list; organize my "stuff", create a budget, and of course, like most, lose weight, exercise more, eat healthy, etc, etc. Then I stopped...in my tracks. Realizing that this is my usual annual to do list which is not new or particularly challenging (Well, maybe the budget will be, given the current economic situation), I opted to do something different this year ...really challenge myself.

I resolve to become a better person for my family, for my friends, for my community and, of course, for myself. How I will go about doing that will be the challenge...finding the core of who I am and improving in the best way possible. I really look forward to this. We all want to clean out the clutter, organize closets and straighten rooms. It's harder to do that with one's own being. There is so much clutter in our heads and so much straightening out to do in our lives. I have read many articles about care giving and the emphasis on taking care of oneself in order to be a better caregiver to others. It made me think about this resolution.

I vow to work at educating this brain, nourishing my soul and curiosity, improving my skills with practice and patience, and resolve to awake each day with gratitude and renewal. Life has its "bumps in the road". How we maneuver it is up to us. I plan to put on my "rose colored" glasses and drive the best I can. Taking the time to stop by the side of the road and enjoy the scenery is allowed.

Proud moment

Forty-three years ago, I welcomed a beautiful baby boy. I never imagined as I held this precious life in my arms for the first time that he would one day become a judge.

Today on his birthday, he has been appointed to the Second District Court in Utah. He received his bachelor's degree in psychology from Pepperdine University in 1990 and his law degree from the same in 1993. He worked as a judicial law clerk in the Second District Court before joining the Davis County Attorney's Office as a Deputy County Attorney where he worked as a prosecutor, serving as the lead attorney over domestic violence, juvenile drug court and adult drug court, as a Section Chief over the Narcotics Division and as the Litigation Section Chief over the Criminal and Juvenile Divisions. He also works as an Adjunct Professor of Law at the S.J. Quinney School of Law at the University of Utah.

And I am so proud of him.

He has proved to be a delight and wonderful son ...and a lifetime challenge. My family called him "the white tornado". To harness his energy we enrolled him in every sport imaginable...track, baseball, football and figure skating. He excelled in all sports, as well as academics. His limitless energy still remains to this day. He is a triathlete, having been an "Ironman triathalon " finisher and runs marathons for fun. He is the devoted father of five children, all of whom have inherited his boundless energy. As their grandmother and sometimes nanny, I have had many "deja vu" moments. I am also fortunate that he has made wise choices in his life...the best one is the beautiful daughter-in-law he gave me. She is my best friend. I must also attribute some of his success to her invaluable loyal support.

I have had many discussions, some arguments, a lot of anxious moments with him and always, he has disarmed me, grounded me, and comforted me with his ability to sort through it all and offer sage and objective counsel. He never ceases to amaze me with his perspective and wisdom and to that end I know in my heart he will excel in his position on the bench.

I have three sons, all of whom I am very proud. This page is devoted to one. I will in other pages, write of the other two.

Sometimes, when life seems to come at you with challenges, it is wonderful to have family that provides these moments of clarity and joy.

Lessons in Living

While I try to maintain my own philosphy of living in the present, it is difficult not to address the present "global crisis" our world faces at this time. I have tried to stay away from the constant barrage of news, political pundits, economic forecasts and doomsday purveyors. Don't misunderstand....I am not hiding my head in the sand....although it is tempting to pull up roots and retire with my husband to that Polynesian island that I fell in love with not long ago.

However, when I hear the concerns of recession, hard times ahead, etc., I am comforted and reminded of the lessons learned from my parents, who lived through and survived the "Great Depression". They were sharecroppers, no home, no assets and five children to feed and clothe. My mother was a fighter, she was resourceful, fierce in her determination to provide for her family. My father was a laborer...hard work was all he knew...and he never faltered. My sister has often said, "We had no money...but we were never poor." Our parents always found a way to provide not only the necessities but occasional surprises. It was years later that we learned of the difficult hardships and sacrifices they made for us. My father always asked us, as young children and later older adults..."Do you need anything?" My mother was thrifty to the end. When we went through her things when she died, we discovered carefully pressed sheets of aluminum foil and dozens of margarine tubs. She was the original recycler. Nothing was wasted, nothing was discarded.

She loved to entertain her family. She worked for days making tamales at Christmas to share with all her friends and family. It was her gift to us. They, my parents, were happiest when we were all together. And so were we.

Did we siblings fight over any of the material things they left us? No....we fought over the dozens of frozen tamales my mom had in her freezer. I make them now with her recipe but as my son says to me....they almost taste like Grandma's but not quite. We all know the most precious ingredient that's missing.

I remind myself of their strength and love even when times were hard. In a disposable society today that yearns for a quick fix...I reflect on the fact that they never discarded or took anything for granted and family was their most treasured asset. Their values and principles were forged from their struggles and determination that we, their children, would be good citizens of the world.

Now as I look at my collection of "Depression Glass", I have to smile at the irony that it has become a "collectable" item. Something pretty, delicate and valuable that came out of hard times reminds me , even we can rise as the "Phoenix out of the ashes".

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Paints

Once a month, my art class goes out to paint en plein air, out in the fresh air. We have traveled locally...to the Ventura Harbor, the Camarillo environs, and as far away as Santa Barbara. I love painting outdoors, it presents a challenge to me.

I am a detailed realistic painter but in order to paint outdoors, you must forego details and focus on one or two areas of what you see, paint quickly, loosely, impressionistic, capturing the spirit of the subject. I fall in love with the landscape and it becomes overwhelming. I want to encompass it all. I don't want to lose the shadows or the way light hits on something particular.

I take my camera for photographic reference but a photograph, while helpful, leaves my vision of what it was, flat, one dimensional. We have time constraints as a group and the light changes. So one must work with value paintings, painting the shadows in first, deciding on the darker values, leaving patches of light and filling in the color later.

I love these outings because my group, varied in age and gender, provides me with social interaction with people who are creative, fun, and above all, willing to put themselves and their art "out there" for scrutiny. We leave the secure and safe confines of our classroom, our own studios and venture out to the open spaces where we are forced to paint with abandon. As in life, we must be willing to leave our own "comfort zones" and take risks.

Who knows? We might create a wonderful landscape of own making.

The Zen of Cooking

The "art" of preparing a meal does not come easily for me. Don't misunderstand. I love to cook (well, most of the time). When I first married, my cooking repertoire consisted of steak and salad. You can't possibly go wrong with that, unless you burn the steak (which I did) or drench the salad to the point of mush (which I also did). My Italian mother-in-law took me under her wing and taught me how to cook. No self respecting Italian mother would let her son starve at the hands of a wife who couldn't make a decent "gravy" (which is what Italians call spaghetti sauce). I learned to make a "killer" lasagna. When I say "killer", it is not only in reference to the compliments I get, but also in that it is a heart attack waiting to happen when you eat it.....four kinds of cheese, eggs, sausage, etc.

My sons, who love to tease, remind me that both their father and my present husband have had quadruple heart bypasses. I say it isn't my cooking but their genetics. However, my cooking now has been altered since we have become aware of all the information about cholesterol, trans-fats, organic versus processed, etc. So now preparing a meal, has become a science for me. But the art of serving it is still pleasurable.

Once upon a time, I would do "theme" dinners. It was fun to plan a meal for family or guests. I followed the Julia Child principle....butter and more butter and a little wine, a tad on the dish and a glassful for the cook. So just as my art has taken me in new directions, so has my cooking. I now plan healthier meals, relying on the vivid texture and taste of vegetables, grown locally and organically. I cook by the seasons and a Saturday morning drive out to one our local farms has become an adventure in creativity. We are so blessed here in California with year round growing weather. I have even managed to introduce some unique vegetables to my grandchildren, who think french fries are the only vegetable. They have discovered and like "spaghetti squash" (maybe it's the name). They learned to like "Grandpa's chicken". They never liked fish, perhaps due to living in Utah, so we cooked a batch of Cajun catfish for them and said it was chicken. They came back for seconds. Now that they are older and smarter, they still ask for "Grandpa's chicken".

But the pleasure of serving family and friends, enjoying their company around the table is what enhances the quality and flavor of the food itself. I guess the main ingredient is love and isn't it what we hunger for anyway?

Mixed Media, mixed up artist??

To define where one journeys as an artist is to define where destiny takes one's life. It is impossible. I started out drawing the human figure. I loved the first drawing class that I took. It was overwhelming but somehow drawing, perspective, the dynamic of the human form came easy to me. I saw the relationship of negative space right away. I loved the quick studies when one had to sketch five minute poses. It took away the clutter and forced me to focus on the essence of the subject. I look at some of my early work. Some good, some not so good but I am surprised at the result, given that I had had no formal training before that class.

I have found that artists provide a great circle of support for one another. Yes, we critique but we also study each other's work, find great inspiration and knowledge from that. I marvel at the creative mind of others and the inventiveness of their concepts and the ability to stimulate our curiosity and wonder.

It is sometimes difficult for me to stay on track with my art. I am constantly reinventing myself as an artist. I have explored the different media in art; pastel portraits, oil landscapes and then watercolor. I am now doing more collage work, specifically, chine colle' or chinese collage. Perhaps right now I find it fun and interesting because it takes me back to my childhood days of cut and paste. Nevertheless, art is self exploration for me. I haven't found my niche yet but I sure am having a great time with it.....sort of like life, isn't it?