Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, how lovely are thy branches

My Christmas tree is an album of memories. This year as I went about putting up the tree and unwrapping the ornaments, I recalled the event and/ or the person that made that piece memorable; the small handmade house with our family name inscribed on it, a gift from a dear friend, the small Indian pot from our trip to the Grand Canyon, the Dutch shoes from our trip to Holland, the red satin balls with bits of lace and glitter that I made on my first Christmas as a married lady (We were too poor to afford really fine ornaments) and of course, ornaments that I bought to commemorate the births of my children and grandchildren .

Memories, sweet and bittersweet, flooded my mind and heart.

Still, I remember as a little girl, I was always fascinated by our Christmas tree. I imagined the branches were paths lit by the lights and the large shiny ornaments were little houses in a beautiful green village. Each ornament housed a family and each family had a story. As a child, my imagination was limitless, now as a woman recalling those stories, I find that they have taken on a life of their own. My ornaments have their own story, real, not imagined now symbols of my own life's story.

Years of collecting have now made the tree heavily laden with ornaments. It has been a few years since we finally succumbed to an artificial tree but I am grateful that I don't have to worry about broken branches or a toppled tree. It is still a lovely tree, but without the wonderful smell of pine. So I have traipsed out to the back of our property where there are several pines growing and I have cut branches to bring the aroma of the outdoors into the house.

Christmases, joyous, celebratory and filled with warm moments and others , filled with heartbreak and loss, difficult to get through at best, each season comes again with its own distinct identity. What type of holiday will it be this year? So many changes, so much to mourn and yet so much to be grateful for. I take out the ornaments once more but this time with a singular purpose...to make it count, to share this moment with my family, my husband, and myself and be grateful for another season, another Christmas with those I love.

The $350 Tomato

So I had this wonderful plan, create a beautiful garden to go with my newly planted expanse of green lawn. I hadn't grown a vegetable garden in a few years and after seeing my best friend's tomato plants produce the most wonderfully tasting homegrown tomatoes, I was inspired to try again.

I humbly admit, I have a green thumb. I can grow almost anything from store bought to "appropriated" seeds and cuttings. Yes, I am the one you see on walks, snipping or pulling off seed pods from neighbors curbside gardens. One day I will have a crime sheet of arrests for plant theft. My son, the judge, will have to bear the shame of sentencing me to community service (I hope), perhaps working in a community garden. Although, after all the times I sent him to his room for time out, this would be his chance to get even and send me to a cell for my own time out.

So I bought my seeds after pouring over seed catalogues, went to the nursery and bought larger plants (As I have said before, I am an impatient gardener). My landscaper built an elaborate raised bed with a drip irrigation system and filled the bed with the best garden soil for me to plant my soon to be prize vegetables.

I planted and waited. I was delighted when I discovered my little plants starting to put forth their small blossoms and tiny fruit. I pictured the late summer "al fresco" dinner for friends with all the harvest from my glorious garden, a roasted pepper salad, grilled eggplant, a basil and tomato antipasto, stuffed zucchini and a melon sorbet. Yummy!

And then I awoke one morning to devastation. All the plants had been consumed down to the bare stems. Every leaf, bloom and small tomato had disappeared. I sat down on the grass and cried. Yes, this strong, resilient old lady cried. There I was with my morning coffee, in my pajamas and my "Pippi Longstocking" hair, sobbing for all to hear.

I soon discovered the culprits, squirrels...those cute furry little "bushy tailed rats", as my husband calls them, had invaded not only the vegetable garden but had eaten all the flowers of my petunias and lobelia. They didn't touch the @#% weeds...gourmands that they are.

So now I was forced to not only replant but also build a barrier around my garden. I have tried all kinds of repellents but they kept coming for their daily feast. I had even in a moment of desperation considered a bee bee gun. My bird netting and the stapled wire fence is so impenetrable that even I cannot get into my own garden. I will just admire the ripe tomatoes from afar. My neighbor has asked my husband to let him know when I try to get into the garden....he wants to bring his camcorder.

Now there is new fruit on the vines and I am once again optimistic. But after adding up all the costs of creating and preserving my garden, I figure I will be the proud owner of the first $350.00 tomato. I will relish every bite.

The Impatient Gardener

This year I have decided to create and plant a garden. I love the late spring and early summer here in California, everything bursts into brilliant color and plants grow as if on steroids.

My mother was an avid gardener. If there was a patch of ground, no matter how small, she managed to grow flowers and/or vegetables on it. So it is in my genes.


As with art, gardening is wonderful creative therapy for me. I find most artists are also gardeners. I think because the concepts are similar. One must think about composition and color, shade garden, full sun and where to place a "victory garden" etc. Gardens are a reflection of our lifestyles, our personalities, our emotions.


I have planted red, white and blue petunias in the sunny corners of our yard in preparation for the Fourth of July. In the shady spaces under our trees there will be shades of burgundy and gold of coleus and impatiens. I have moved azaleas to better places and agapanthus where they may grow undisturbed. I have even created a "Zen Serenity Garden", a gazing globe surrounded by colored glass and white stones in a side corner of our yard. It will be where I will escape to read, write, paint and meditate.

And this year, I have planted vegetables in raised beds. I am growing several varieties of heirloom tomatoes and Asian eggplants and to satisfy the tastes of my husband and youngest son, four varieties of "hot" peppers, jalapeno, habanero, ancho and cayenne.

But, I am an impatient gardener. I am one of those who plants seeds and then very delicately digs around a week later to see if the seeds have begun to sprout. Once the seedlings peek their heads above the ground, I check everyday measuring to see how tall they have grown. I wait impatiently for the young green tomatoes to start their first blush of color. I check each blossom on the plants to find the tiny vegetable fetus forming to become the lush pepper or eggplant or tomato.

Yes, I am impatient as with life...waiting for something to happen, to grow, to show life, to reward my labors. But as with all things of God and Nature, everything happens in its own time and we cannot rush the outcome, we can only anticipate the bounty.

A New Year with resolve

After spending the holidays and the last of 2008 with my son and his family in the snowy weather of Utah , I am home now dealing with the strong and unseasonably warm Southern California winds. While I enjoyed the soft white powdery snow (No wonder skiers flock to Utah) and a wonderful white Christmas with family, it was good to be back in the warm environs of California. Coming home is always comforting (nothing like sleeping in your own bed) no matter how pleasurable your journey has been. But as always, there are the ever present tasks that await one.

And of course, facing the new year and the myriad resolutions that accompanied this homecoming.

I immediately started in with my mental list; organize my "stuff", create a budget, and of course, like most, lose weight, exercise more, eat healthy, etc, etc. Then I stopped...in my tracks. Realizing that this is my usual annual to do list which is not new or particularly challenging (Well, maybe the budget will be, given the current economic situation), I opted to do something different this year ...really challenge myself.

I resolve to become a better person for my family, for my friends, for my community and, of course, for myself. How I will go about doing that will be the challenge...finding the core of who I am and improving in the best way possible. I really look forward to this. We all want to clean out the clutter, organize closets and straighten rooms. It's harder to do that with one's own being. There is so much clutter in our heads and so much straightening out to do in our lives. I have read many articles about care giving and the emphasis on taking care of oneself in order to be a better caregiver to others. It made me think about this resolution.

I vow to work at educating this brain, nourishing my soul and curiosity, improving my skills with practice and patience, and resolve to awake each day with gratitude and renewal. Life has its "bumps in the road". How we maneuver it is up to us. I plan to put on my "rose colored" glasses and drive the best I can. Taking the time to stop by the side of the road and enjoy the scenery is allowed.